<3 GOD, JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT. -trinity (durr.):X
<3 my faMiLy. especially my mummy. mUaCkx. :X
<3 my NO.1 passion, MUSIC!!! deahDEAHdeahDEAH... mUaCkx. X)
<3 my NO.2 passion, PHOTOGRAPHY! chingCHINGching! mUaCkx. X)
<3 devOtEd tO GOD de eunice jiE jiE and sElf-tHinK naivE dE evan gOr gOr. mUaCkx. :X
<3 my cOuzziEx. mUaCkx. :X
<3 my darlings. :x
<3 hui ming and prisy. (two of my darlings.) :X
<3 shuaiSHAUI and KAIWAIYINEHH de adam kOr kOr. muackish muack muack!:X
<3 BIG BULLY de albert kOr kOr. muackish muack muack!:X
<3 PIGpig de andy gOr gOr. :x
<3 tallTALL de gOr gOr, jason. :x
<3 cute and fat de di di, bryan.:x
<3 chioCHIO de mEi mEi cum "PING", jolynn.:x
<3 gorjiedimei. \X/ :x
<3 "PIANG", cai yun. :x
<3 "PING! PONG! PIANG!" :x
<3 WATER! the BEST dehydrating lotion and spot clearing cream! XD
<3 ORANGE!
<3 PINK!
<3 SKY BLUE!
<3 LAVENDER!
<3 BLACK!
<3 WHITE!
<3 bible study. :)
<3 youth camp'05. X)
<3 mission trip '06. :)
<3 ROCK THE WORLD concert'06 :D
<3 CCBC, my church youth. :x
<3 RBC's youth too. :x
<3 having very 'jumpy' worship. X)
<3 very FUNNY and 'reality check' sermons. X)
<3 hanging out with the people i love or even the guy! hahas. XD
<3 going overseas with friends or ppl i love. X)
<3 having combined youth with RBC. XD
<3 hanging out with theLOOKALIKES, AH-DAMandMICH.
<3 spending time with my adam kor kor and albert kor kor. :)
<3 talking on the phone with albert kor kor.
<3 being protected by my kor kors. XD
<3 having to go out with my couzziex.
<3 having you around me.:x
<3 frenx from everywhere. :x
<3 waking up late. heex.X)
<3 making up and go out. XD
<3 going out with friends.X)
<3 SHOPPING! XD
<3 SLEEPING! :D
<3 SINGING! :D
<3 SMILING! x)
<3 the 4 Sssss.. (the above four!)
<3 LAUGHING! :)
<3 DANCING! X)
<3 practically everything that got to do with MUSIC. X)
theHATES. PUKE!
but i shall FORGIVE and FORGET.
hate being accused! hate PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO PICK ON ME ALL THE TIME FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON!!! AGH!!(damn them man.) hate backstabbers! hate people that think they are the best!(nobody except GOD is perfect.) hate ACT as ah lian/ah beng! when they are SO NOT! hate liers! (even i do lie sometimes.x)) hate having 'rents bossing around and taking privacy from me! agh!! hate act ke lian to absorb guys' attention. (eww. so gross.) hate those that treat me so warm then after a while then so cold.
theWISHES.:)
~` be more devoted to GOD. (durr.)
~` grow in GOD more and more each day.
~` do my QT regularly. :D
~` combine CCBC's youth with RBC's youth. XD
~` hang out with the RBC's youth more. XD
~` able to go to mission trip'07. :D
~` have the fun people to go to mission trip'07. :) eg. prisy, michelle and adam.
~` have a job that is close to my passions. eg. DJ, freelance photographer.
~` the guy that i like to like me in return. X)
~` have more freedom. (which teen doesn’t want this?)
~` can have more privacy.
~` not so slack!!
~` to go to the best class every year.
~` stop all rumours about me and some odd weirdball.
~` have confidence in myself.
~` have greater hair and hair-do. x)
shout AMEN! (:
theSONG.:)
Beat of my HEART
To the beat of my
To the beat of my
To the beat of my heart
I'm thinking about,
Letting it out.
I wanna give in,
I wanna go out.
Been looking around
I've finally found,
The rhythm of love,
The feeling of sound.
It's making a change,
The feeling is strange.
It's coming right back.
Right back in my range.
Not worried about anything else,
I'm waking up
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart.
[Chorus:]
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
It tears us apart.
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
Now I'm back to the start.
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
I'm up from my down.
I turn it around.
I'm making it back,
I'm not gonna drown.
I'm taking a stance.
I won't miss a chance.
I want you to see
I'm not scared to dance.
The way that you feel
Could never be real.
I want you to know I finished the deal.
So I'm sayin to you
I'll always be true.
To the rhythm inside,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
[Chorus]
Away Away,
Away Away,
Away Away,
Away Away,
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
It tears us apart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
The beat of my heart,
Now I'm back to the start,
[Chorus]
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart,
Away Away,
Away Away,
To the beat of my,
To the beat of my heart
JESUS will surely be with me ALWAYS, to the VERY END of
age.
20th March 2007 - 8.53pm
sighs. today.. i dun know how describe this day. a tragedy, humilation or a day that i finally found my stand in his heart? sighs. i think, its all. ALL of them. ): sighs.. now, im... devastated. VERY. ): sighs, i think the only word that could express me now is "sighs". nothing could just seem to come out of me now. i was so devastated that i cried in class. sighs. ): if you are wondering what was so serious that could make this girl who only dare to cry at home or in the toilet, cry in the CLASS. here is what, my undies was exposed! ): ): ): ): sighs.. today, i woke up late and i end up having not enough time to find a super short pants to wear. so i just wear without it, went to eat my breakfast and off, i went to school. art was our class' first period. when the class was about to end, when everybody was packing up and some who have already carried their bag, wai ying and i was playing then she was just flipped UP my skirt. and as you know, i DID NOT wear any shorts! ye wei, qing yang, gabriel and quite a number of guys were looking at us play and so, there i go with my undies exposed to them. then i laughed then i move back then knocked onto feng khai, then ACCIDENTALLY touched his dick. OOPS! but i didnt really blamed wai ying much though. i mean she DID NOT KNOW, right. so i mean, i could still can understand. but what left me humilated, laughed at and the center of attraction for the wrong reasons was what CAI YUN did to me. she know very VERY WELL that i did not wear shorts. AND as a friend, she should helped me or maybe just laughed about it then let the matter disapear. i mean that, im fine with that. things like that, i dun mind laughing at it, just dun make things worst. but.. cai yun didnt thought of my feelings and just went to flipped UP my skirt AGAIN! and this time, HIGHER! cant she just think?!?! can i just DUN talk to her anymore?! and didnt miss chong say "girls are smarter."? why is she that.. that.. <___>, you fill in the blank yourself. i cant be bothered to think a word that... sighs.. nvm.. forget it. sighs. when we were on our way back to class, she flipped UP my skirt and then.. all the guys AND girls saw. sighs. shang wei was just behind, next to jolynn. qing yang, feng khai, gabriel, ye wei and their whole gang lahhs. THEY ALL SAW. maybe not all. but.. ohya! still got the damn wen hao, he saw. ): my mum just came in a few mintues ago, she asked me bout something, then i tried to laugh. but when the door closed, "pi la pi la" my tears came flowing more than ever. sighs..... anws, i screamed and then miss chong was in front, she turned back and then gave us the stare. then she said "your skirts are too short." then i hurried unfolded my skirt. i unfolded for TWO reasons. one was that miss chong mahhs, then two was that i was BADLY humilated. somebody said in her blog indirectly though, that i could stand humilation. yes, i can BUT i do have a limit too, you know. YOU KNOW OR NOT, lee cai yun! can you stop and just use your brain to think or your heart to feel!? can you, can you OR NOT?!?! people might say i dun give attitude. its not that i dun give, its just that i cant bear to give. why? because you are my friends, thats why. i rather swollow everything myself at home, and not wanting to do things that i think will hurt my friends. its my friends, im talking here! not enemies nor foes, if them, i cant be bothered a single bit. sighs.. but all these, who cares. really, who cares? sighs. although i do know one, which is God. sighs.. i was carrying cai yun's bag then. i put, or rather slamed it on her table, and waiting for her to give me back mine. but she still carrying. i kept telling myself "fine, its okay. its okay." then fira came to class, she said that its okays, then she hugged me. sighs. i think she knows how i feel, i guess. sighs. anws, when i found out that it was english period and NOT literature. i quickly ran to the toilet ALONE. or rather, i WANTED to be. but cai yun kept on following. its HER fault, anyway. that im feeling like this. she said sorry and stuffs. but COME ON! tell me the truth, DOES IT HELPED?!?! WITH JUST A DAMN "SORRY". IS EVERYTHING BACK TO NORMAL, HUHH?! NO, RIGHT?! SO JUST SHUT UP!!! i cant believe im saying this to a all-time besttie. AHS! sighs... i cried in the toilet then made sure that my eyes and nose wasnt red then i go back class. when in english, mrs yip, which was already in class. and we were watching "the arena". then wen hao... sighs.. he said "white panties, white panties." it wasnt very long after i came back from the toilet. my emotions haven really get over it yet. then that was the last straw. i cried. i cant go to the toilet anymore, i mean i just went, so DURR. i cant go again. so i cried. anyways, my tears couldnt seem to stop. i cried and cried. with fira and cai yun around me, who kept on calling me not to cry. sighs... this is the FIRST time i cry in class in secondary, you know. ever since in pri 5, i guess, i have not cried in class. maybe in the toilet or so but never IN CLASS. sighs. cai yun even got the cheek to say that "just because of calvin saw, then i cry." i mean "what the heck!!" sighs... forget it. the day went by... and until now, the tears are still in my eyes and in the tissues. the unfinished tears gushing down like a waterfall. sighs. now, its 10.11pm already. ): so many hours had past by yet no one smsed me asking if im okay, or if im better or anything. the only sms i recieved was charmaine, asking me bout my literature marks and thats all. no other people, no one, not even him, smsed me. consoling, concern. nothing. ): sighs. even in class, when i was said, calvin, who claimed that he want to like me, did NOTHING. never scold, never call the person shut up, not even a glare. or should i say not even a reaction from him. sighs. ): thats where im in his heart, yeahhs. thank you for letting me know. )':
Psalm 68:19 P R A I S E be to the LORD, to GOD our SAVIOR, who daily bears our burdens.
